Monte’s Pizza

Everybody should know David Portnoy, the controversial President of Barstool Sports, who has a One Bite pizza review challenge. Since we were staying at a hotel so close to Monte’s Restaurant, we had to try the pizza that was the only one ever to receive his perfect score of 10. He called it the Holy Grail of Pizza.

 First, his take:

“…looks like everything else, a little bit, uh you know, nice thin crust looks good, we'll see, we'll see what we got. And now everybody knows the rules, one bite score let's do it…” 

 “Monty's pizza, Lynn. 10! The first perfect score in the history of pizza reviews. This lives up to all the hype. Everything everybody's been saying about this pizza: the sauce; the crisp; the texture. This is the best pizza I’ve had during my pizza reviews. Whoever was saying ‘Monte’s is the best,’ ‘Monte’s is a ten,’ they're right I trust them to the grave. I recommend you get to Monte’s and Lynn. As a pizza expert, as the champ of pizza, as the king of pizza, as the man who tastes pizza for living. Team pizza or die. Monte’s is a 10. The north shore, north shore man. They just do shit, they just do shit.”

View fullsize

• Source of Image-Insert:

  David Portnoy, Monte's Restaurant (https://onebite.app : accessed 1 March 2023) 

Understandably, people have lost their minds over his perfect rating, and the ‘community’ gives it a meager 7.6 on the app. I’m not sure how I would rate it because there are so many types and purposes for pizza, but we gave it a go below.

Our takes:

Chi: It didn’t look great when you open it, and I wasn’t sure about the first bite, but the overall enjoyment of it catches up quickly and I was completely satisfied. I would get it all the time if they were in my neck of the woods. It was really really good: it was inexpensive, probably only $10 for a small; and clean - no geese; didn’t flop over; thin and crisp flavorful crust.

Coley: “Just like when I saw [Portnoy’s reaction] on the video, I thought ‘there is no way that it can be so highly rated.’ And then when we opened it, I also felt the same way, because it just looks a basic pizza. But it’s really delicious.”

Anyway, here are the Connecticut restaurant-rankings for reference [his rank, rating, and location]:

#11 [9.2] SALLY'S APIZZA, NEW HAVEN

#27 [8.8] MODERN APIZZA, NEW HAVEN

#37 [8.6] ROSELAND APIZZA, DERBY

#T51 [8.5] FRANK PEPE PIZZERIA NAPOLETANA, NEW HAVEN

#T51 [8.5] OHN & MARIA’S PIZZERIA, EAST HAVEN

#11 [9.2] SALLY'S APIZZA, NEW HAVEN

#27 [8.8] MODERN APIZZA, NEW HAVEN

#37 [8.6] ROSELAND APIZZA, DERBY

#T51 [8.5] FRANK PEPE PIZZERIA NAPOLETANA, NEW HAVEN

#T51 [8.5] JOHN & MARIA’S PIZZERIA, EAST HAVEN

#61 [8.4] COLONY GRILL, STAMFORD

#T82 [8.2] RIKO'S PIZZA, STAMFORD

#T82 [8.2] GRAND PIZZA SHORELINE, CLINTON

#T82 [8.2] ZUPPARDI’S APIZZA, WEST HAVEN

#105 [8.1] OMENICK & PIA PIZZERIA, WATERBURY

#164 [7.9] ERNIE’S PIZZERIA, NEW HAVEN

#248 [7.7] MIKE'S APIZZA & RESTAURANT, WEST HAVEN

#T320 [7.5] APIZZA GRANDE, EAST HAVEN

#320 [7.5] INCENZO’S PIZZERIA, WATERBURY

#T357 [7.4] DA LEGNA AT NOLO, NEW HAVEN

#T357 [7.4] FRISCO'S PIZZA, NEW HAVEN

#T357 [7.4] REMO’S, STAMFORD

#T357 [7.4] BAR, NEW HAVEN

#T488 [7.2] ZENELI PIZZERIA, NEW HAVEN

#T488 [7.2] JOHN’S PIZZA RESTAURANT, NAUGATUCK

#535 [7.1] MINERVINI’S PIZZERIA & RESTAURANT, EAST HAVEN

#T602 [6.9] ANTHONY’S, WATERTOWN

#T602 [6.9] BELLTOWN PIZZA, STAMFORD

#T602 [6.9] GLENVILLE PIZZA, GREENWICH

#636 [6.8] ABATE APIZZA & RESTAURANT, NEW HAVEN

#636 [6.8] VINNY’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, NAUGATUCK

#705 [6.7] FINO WOOD FIRED PIZZA & BAR, WATERTOWN

#744 [6.6] MIKE’S PIZZA PALACE, NAUGATUCK

#771 [6.5] HOPE PIZZA RESTAURANT, STAMFORD

#784 [6.4] REGINA PIZZERIA, MASHANTUCKET

#873 [5.9] T’S PIZZA KITCHEN, STAMFORD

---

 

---